I had a dream last night that I was sitting in dirt and grass with my back against a fence and yelling into the night sky. It felt good to yell and scream even louder, so I kept going and soon, yelling wasn't enough and I was howling up at the moon. I was trying to get somewhere, to hit a certain pitch or raise a certain decibel, but I couldn't get to it. It was like my voice was being squelched and something was holding me back. I knew I was capable of being louder, but at the moment, it seemed impossible despite everything I tried.
I woke up and wanted to remember the dream, but it quickly slipped away. But just now, a few hours later, I began to howl and I don't know why, but the dream just came back.
What I do know why, is why I cannot howl as loud as I want.
Because when I am awake, I am not alone by myself in a field. When I am awake I am in society and cultural expectations. I've heard that true freedom is a state of mind... but I just can't wait to run through the forest and howl and be free.